Let's face it telling the unfiltered truth doesn't always feel good. One of the few elements that brought me to start BACK OF MY MIND was and is my story, however uncomfortable or exposing it may make me feel. The bare thought of someone, especially a stranger seeing me and understanding me through my blog is sometimes terrifying and overwhelming, but advocating for mental health awareness sometimes requires having challenging, uncomfortable, and unashamed conversations.
My motto is always "Mental health awareness starts at home," but what is home? Home is me, you, family, and friends, but most importantly, home to me means prioritizing my mental health first before anybody else. Learning to navigate my role as a mental health advocate while prioritizing my own has been the most challenging journey I've been through.
They say, "Mental health advocates are heroes who do not wear capes but who work tirelessly every day to share their stories and help those who are struggling," and if I'm being honest, I have no idea how that makes me feel, but one thing for sure, there's some truth to it. Being a mental health advocate requires commitment and dedication; however, prioritizing my mental health has taken almost as much commitment as my role as a mental health advocate. The undenying truth is whether I like it or not, I am a full-time student constantly worrying about my GPA and social life, and sometimes they can take a toll on me. Navigating my role as a mental health advocate and as Eunice has often left me feeling guilty for putting more effort in one and less in another, which leaves me in an even more frustrating predicament. The struggle with prioritizing my mental health has pushed me into a fight or flight mode, which has been exhausting.
I've learned the hard way that it's easier said than done, and that I'm futile to the cause,to back of my mind, if I can't practice what I write to people, I'm not being the best advocate for those struggling with their mental health. Most of the time, I felt guilty when prioritizing my mental health because I thought I was slacking off or not giving my 100%. What will people think? What happened? Why is she not writing anything? Was it just a seasonal thing? All these questions often ran in my mind with no answers. To some being a mental health advocate may seem like I have got it all figured out, but I honestly don't think anyone truly has everything figured out. Positive mental health is not readily achievable; sometimes it feels like I've taken one step forward and two steps back. Yes, I may have more self-awareness now than ever did back then, but it does not necessarily mean I have answers to everything or know what to do. Being aware of what you're going through and still not being able to do something about it can be frustrating, but I constantly remind myself that sometimes it takes time to undo some things and that the path to healing is not straightforward.
I think I forgot what being an advocate is all about; I forgot that the core part of mental health advocacy is being able to prioritize my mental health, honoring and loving myself despite what I am going through, and helping those who struggle with their mental health to do the same thing. It took time, but now I know I need to be my best self to be the best mental health advocate I know I can be, but also I need to be true to myself and the writer behind the keyboard. I now know and accept that my mental health may not be 100% all the time, and that is OK. I am currently learning how to prioritize my mental health every day and not just when things are not OK because taking care of myself first mentally before anyone else is me honoring my motto and commitment as a mental health advocate.
To all mental health advocates going through the same journey as me, I want you to know that you aren't alone. But also, If you can't relate to my post, it's OK; I am honestly so incredibly happy for you!
To all my readers, I sincerely hope you enjoyed today's post, and if you can relate to my unfiltered truth, know that you are not alone! Remember to like, comment and share with your friends, family, and colleagues.
Comentários